I'm bummed!

So, I physically feel pretty crummy -- my knee's still a little sore, my lower back is KILLING me (seriously, I'm walking like I'm 90 years old) and I'm still ravenous ALL OF THE TIME. I finally got in a very gentle 30 minutes on my beloved recumbent bike today, but I have to go very slow and easy because of my body falling to pieces around me. And, you know what ravenous + much less exercise means, right? Ugh.

I'm anxious for my first appointment with the surgeon on Tuesday, but also kind of dreading it because I've gained four pounds since I hit my 5 percent. What's going to happen when I show up at the surgeon's office, and I'm sure they'll want to weigh me, and when they see I'm no longer at 5 percent, what happens then? Has anyone heard of this happening to anyone? Will they send me back to try to lose those four pounds back? Will my insurance deny me for it?

Ugh, y'all, I'm trying so hard, and sometimes it feels like I'll never make it to the actual surgery! And I'm feeling awfully petulant that we show up at the bariatric practice because we have trouble losing weight and keeping it off, and what's the first thing they say? "Lose weight." Does that sound like cruel and inhuman punishment to anyone else? ;)

Erk, sorry for the whine-age. I'm going to bed and find a better attitude in the morning. *hugs for all*

Have to admit it's getting better, a little better all the time...

The fam and I went for some light hiking today! We picked two easy trails, about a mile long each, and had a break in between. My knee's a little sore tonight but not too bad. I'm hopeful that I can get back in a routine soon. :)

I wish I hated pictures of myself less -- it would've been nice to be in some of the pictures. But I just don't wan't to look at myself at this point. Hopefully soon!

Gimme my exercise!

I've made an interesting discovery in the past three days -- since my knee flaked out on me and I was told to lay off exercising for a few days. What discovery was this?

I NEED EXERCISE.

In the past three days, in addition to sitting on my butt, I've slipped back into my old ways of eating, and, unfortunately, the weight I lost is already piling back on. I've felt almost constantly hungry -- ravenous to the point of distraction! And I'm pretty sure I'm still supposed to be at 219 when I see the surgeon a week from Tuesday.

So, my plan is this:

1. Back on two-protein shakes, one small meal per day. Limit snacks to fruit or sugar-free popsicle.
2. Get back on the recumbent bike -- but take it slower, and listen to my body. I'm hopeful that wearing the brace will limit irritation to the bursa.
3. Get out of the house and away from electronic distractions.

All right, body, we can do this. One foot in front of the other. :)

Four things make a post!

Thing One: I have met my 5 percent weight loss, and am now waiting for an appointment to see the surgeon. I'm told I should expect surgery in about a month. WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Thing Two: I got brave and uploaded an actual picture of me for my profile. I don't particularly care for the pic (exactly how many chins do I have there?!), but it's taken from a photo of me and my daughter at a Carolina Gamecocks football game last fall, and it was such an awesome day that it makes me happy to see it anyway. :D

Thing Three: Owwie.

My knee started hurting a little on Monday while I was riding my beloved recumbent exercise bike. I kept going, and the knee was sore. Exercised again on Tuesday and Wednesday (because I was working hard to lose the last of the 5 percent!) and it got worse and worse. This morning, I could barely walk on it. It's apparently bursitis. On one hand, I'm bummed that I can't work out for a few days, but...I have to admit, I kinda like that I have a battle wound.

Yes, I'm weird. 8-)


Thing Four: this is the entire contents of my (very new) iPhone's music:

Loser -- Glee cast version
Carolina in My Mind -- James Taylor (not for exercise, but I love the song!)
Let's Go Crazy -- Prince
Gettin' Jiggy Wit It -- Will Smith
It's My Life/Confessions, Pt. II -- Glee cast version
Loser Like Me -- Glee cast version
Hold My Hand -- Hootie and the Blowfish
Cruel Summer -- Bananarama
Epic -- Faith No More

Please give me suggestions for great motivational music. :)

G'night, y'all!

P.S. If I haven't friended you back, please poke me!

It's fun for a girl and a boy!

Dig that green shag carpeting, Daddy-O!

What walks down stairs
alone or in pairs
and makes a slink-it-y sound?
A sling, a spring, a marvelous thing
everyone knows it's Slinky!
It's Slinky! It's Slinky
for fun it's a wonderful toy!
It's fun for a girl and a boy!

For some reason that I can't fathom, I have this song stuck in my head today, so I had to go find the old-school commercial jingle that I grew up singing along with. (And now I've earwormed all of you. You're welcome. ;) )

It started me thinking about the games we played with our Slinky, and that got me thinking about the other games we played as kids. Kickball, Freeze Tag, Hide and Seek. We played CHiPs and our bicycles were our highway patrol motorcycles. A pair of groovy roller skates on our feet made us Dorothy Hamill, or we made a roller derby on the carport. We had a big Yellow Poplar in our front yard, and I climbed it many days, and later carved into it the initials of the boy I liked. There was always something fun to do.

We were getting exercise, though we were having too much fun to notice. So I wonder -- when did exercising stop being fun? Why did we stop playing? When did it stop being something we wanted to do every day, and become a chore that we got over with as soon as possible?

When did it become work? I mean, we even call it working out! Is it any wonder that we don't want to do it?

So, my goal from here on out, for the rest of my life, is going to be to find the fun. I don't want to work; I want to play! This weekend, my family and I are going camping, so I'll have lots of opportunity to play. I want to paddle a canoe again! I'm going to rent a paddle boat! I'm going to play in the water and not care how I look in a swimsuit -- because what matters is playing and having fun with my family. :D

How about you? What did you play when you were a kid? How do you find the fun in your exercise now? I'd love to hear your ideas. :D

Woohoo!

Just finished a 45-minute ride on my exercise bike! I always forget how awesome the post-workout high feels. :D I think I'm claiming that as my first NSV. :D

219...is a magic number

(Points to anyone who gets the reference in the title!)

So, after a week of bouncing around from 223 to 225 (despite me eating two protein shakes and one small meal for the past six weeks AND exercising hard for nine of the past ten days!), my official weigh-in at the bariatric practice was 222.2. Which, I have to admit, was disappointing, because I must get to 219 before my file can be sent to my insurance for approval and before I can get an appointment to see the surgeon.

I stepped onto the scale fully expecting to see 222 or 223. My morning weight is not usually my lowest of the day, because I tend to retain water overnight, especially if I've had salt the day before. After I take my meds, the excess water is flushed out of my system, and then I get my lowest weight for the day.

All of that is to explain why I was so excited to see the number 219.8 on my scale this morning! FINALLY! I know I need to lose a couple of more pounds to allow for clothes, etc. when I weigh in, but at least at this moment, I am there! Woohoo!

My fat apparently loves me.

For almost five weeks now, I've been on the two-protein-shakes-and-one-reasonable-meal diet that my bariatric m.d. suggested. I lost five or six pounds right off the bat. But now my weight isn't budging!

Yesterday, I had the two protein drinks, 1/4 cup of fat free cottage cheese, one container of greek yogurt and a peach during the day. For supper, we had grilled chicken (I ate two legs), one small piece (4 inches) of corn on the cob, and steamed broccoli. After supper, I had a chunk of watermelon and a suger-free popsicle. (I just remembered that I also had a tablespoon of peanut butter in the afternoon.)

I've exercised for five of the past seven days. Good, hard exercise that had me sweating profusely and out of breath. Thirty to 45 minutes at a time.

So why is my scale refusing to budge? I was briefly at 221.8 a few days ago, but since then it's bounced around from 223.8 to 225. I don't understand it!

I had hoped to be at 219 (my required five percent loss) by the time I go to my last nutrition class Thursday afternoon, but it doesn't look like that will happen. I don't know what I'm doing wrong! Maybe I need to go to three protein drinks per day just to get these last few pounds off.

Also, while I'm whining: I have a task to do at work that I despise, and I am procrastinating like whoa. ;)

Have I mentioned that I love my exercise bike? Also, an iPhone question

Aren't those commercials where people say, 'I love my bank!' in various ways annoying? And yet...I feel that way about my recumbent bike.

I had a treadmill for several years and actually used it a good bit, but I hated it. My balance is off because of a couple of meds I take, so I always felt slightly wobbly and worried that I was going to miss-step and fall off or something. Not to mention that it made my feet and knees hurt. To top it off, I felt like a lumbering elephant on it. No matter how much I tried to move gracefully, my feet ended up slapping the moving track -- clomp, clomp clomp. Ugh. Just not fun.

So I got a recumbent exercise bike, and wow, what a difference! No worries about losing my balance. My feet and knees never hurt. And I actually feel like my movements are graceful and strong. I've had my bike for about four weeks, and it's made a world of difference. I can already tell that my legs and core are stronger. And as an added bonus, I point a fan towards me and -- although I do get good and sweaty -- at no point do I feel like I want to die!

Today, I set out to ride 30 minutes while the hub and kids went grocery shopping. At 30 minutes I thought, 'I could go more.' So I did! I went 45 minutes, and STILL didn't feel like I wanted to die! :D

On the weight-loss front, my scale said 221.8 this morning. I did a happy dance right there on my bathroom scale. I need to be down to 219 by Thursday, which is when I go back to the weight loss practice for my final nutrition class. If I make weigh-in then, my file gets sent to the insurance company and I get an appointment to meet with the surgeon! Man, for months it felt like I was running in molasses, and suddenly I'm almost done!

And now the above-mentioned question. Those of you using iPhones, do you know of a good app for posting to Blogger? I just got my iPhone this week, so I'm very much a newbie. Any ideas? Thanks!

More hoops jumped through!

I'm still here, jumping through every hoop they give me! I saw the regular bariatric doctor for the last time (I guess?) today, and then had the first of two nutrition classes.

/bitch and whine on

Okay, I understand that they have to give these basic nutrition courses in case someone has never heard it in their life, but seriously -- I'm willing to bet that most of the people in that room knew as much or more about nutrition, calories and protein than any of the three registered dietitions in the room. We overweight people have obsessed over, calculated and fudged enough calories in our time! We've lost (and regained and lost again!) weight. WE KNOW HOW. We are here because we need help getting there and STAYING THERE.

/bitch and whine off

ANYWAY. So, yes, the basic nutrition class is done. All I have left to do is the second nutrition class a week from Thursday (which I'm hoping will be more relevant to post-surgery diet than this class was). Oh, and lose 5 more pounds. The doctor I've been seeing (who said don't worry about losing the whole 16 lbs.) up and MOVED AWAY, so I have a new one, and this one is being a stickler for the five percent. It shouldn't be too hard.

After that, everything gets sent to my insurance and I get set up with an appointment to see the surgeon. The nurse said they usually hear back from insurance within a couple of weeks! Is it possible I may be getting my surgery in August?! SO EXCITED!

Oh, and I'm also excited because I finally got a recumbent exercise bike and I LOVE IT! I can go hard on it for 30 minutes and not even feel like I'm dying (which, you know, is always a plus.) I've been getting my lazy butt up 45 minutes early in the morning to fit in 30 minutes on the bike and another shower before work. Yep, I'm a little bit proud of that. \o/

Anyway, I'm off to catch up on my reading and see what y'all are up to! :D

Yay, followers!

I'm so excited to have eight followers! *squishes followers to mah bosom*

*ahem* I mean...Hi! ;)

Also, despite the tone of my last post, I can promise I really am not a Debbie Downer. Also, I found out a reason for the person yesterday telling me the RNY horror story, and now that I understand, I think it won't be quite so awkward to see this person on a regular basis.

So, I'm still in the hoop-jumping-through phase. My cardiologist signed off for me to have surgery, and even said I don't need to have a stress test, YES! I see the bariatric practice's nutritionist a second time in July, and have my third visit with the doctor. Oh, and I'm planning to go to the practice's support meeting next week. I'm SO, SO, SO pumped to get to talk to more people who have done this before!

Exercise today: walked as fast as I possibly could for 28 minutes on my lunch break, and omg my legs are KILLING me. I know at some point, my body will stop screaming through every millisecond I exercise. Just gotta hang on until that time. Oh, and I'm strongly considering getting a recumbent exercise bike this weekend.

Eating today: two protein drinks for breakfast and lunch, greek yogurt, grapes and an apple for snacks. Gluten-free pasta with meat sauce and veggies for supper. Watermelon for dessert. And the less said about those cheese puffs I had afterwards, the better, hmm?

I CAN get there from here.

Well, it's been harder to get back in the habit of blogging than I anticipated, but I'm still on my way. The only questions are, where are we going, and how do we get there?

I had my second visit with the bariatric doctor yesterday. Sadly, I appear to be the only person on the planet who can eat much less food, exercise more than twice as much as I had been, and still gain weight. *facepalm* And since I'm supposed to be losing about 14 lbs. before surgery, I'm now on a two-protein-shakes-a-day, one-small-meal-a-day plan that my doctor suggested. So far, it's been fine, and I've not had much hunger. And I went for a walk on my lunch break today, and while it did seem that I was going to keel over a few times, I kept going, and went quite a bit farther than I have been. Hopefully I can keep this up and see a decrease in my weight next time.

Unfortunately, I'm going to have to evict the Cheetos. Poor Cheetos; it's not them -- it's me. I simply cannot resist their cheesy, salty, crunchy goodness. So they're going to have to go. *sniffle* Goodbye, my Cheetos!

I think I'm a bit closer to making a decision between RNY surgery and lap-band. My doctor said RNY patients tend to do a lot better, lose a lot more weight, and keep it off better. I'm concerned about having to take two weeks off work to recover -- at this point, I simply don't have that much leave accumulated. I used it all when I had pneumonia in January. And the fact that I'm running around to various appointments that are required for the bariatric program is making it harder to accumulate leave. But! If it's the right way to go, it's all going to work itself out just fine in the end. Meanwhile, I'm planning to go to the bariatric program's support meetings next month; my doctor said they should be helpful in making my decision.

One last note: I mentioned in my last post that I wanted to post separately about something, but it just would've turned into negativity, and I don't want to give into that. I really am an upbeat, positive person, so I surely don't want to turn into the Debbie Downer type. Suffice it to say that I met with the nutritionist at the bariatric program, and have another meeting with him next month.

Oh, and I almost forgot -- I go Monday for the psych evaluation. Hopefully, they don't think I'm crazycakes or anything. ;)