Gastric Sleeve surgery?

So, I had pretty much decided on the gastric bypass. Read all about it, researched, talked to my doctor -- it was all good. But now, apparently, my insurance is also starting to pay for gastric sleeve surgery, and I'm right back in Indecisionville.

On the one hand, it would seem to be a good thing to not have to cut into my intestines. On the other hand, from the little I've read about the gastric sleeve, it apparently results in less weight loss than the bypass, and weight loss is the name of the game, right?

So now, I don't know! I'm not scheduled to see the regular medical doctor anymore -- after I lose three more pounds (*eyeroll*) I get scheduled to see the surgeon. What do I do?

Have any of you had the gastric sleeve? Or can you suggest bloggers who had that surgery so I can read first hand accounts?

Eep!

So, I watched a few seconds minutes of a laparoscopic roux-en-y surgery. Um. Owwie?

I'm not typically squeamish, but wow, watching that was a bad idea. I wish I could just get it over with already and not spend so much time obsessing over thinking about it.

Maybe it'll help to list some of the reasons (besides health, which is, of course, the main reason I want the surgery. In no particular order:

* I'd like to be able to fit into a bra. Seriously. Have you ever tried looking for a 42A bra? It doesn't exist -- well, it may exist, but the cups are waaaaay larger than what an A cup should be. I kinda got the short end of the stick in the boobular area. I started developing early -- I was the first girl in 3rd grade who had to wear a bra -- and stopped developing shortly afterward. And not to make mountains out of molehills (see what I did there?), but I didn't get the extra boobage you're supposed to get when you breastfeed, either. So, I got fat, but I didn't get the gazongas to go along with it. Which leads me to...

*I'd like to fit into clothing. If you wear plus-size clothes, you may have noticed that the shirts, in general, play up the boobs. I'm sure I'd like it, if I actually had any boobs to play up. Instead, when I put on plus-size tops, I look like a little kid playing with her mama's clothes. So, I mostly wear shell tops in warm weather (I currently have five that I rotate over and over and over again) and twinsets in cold weather. Nothing else fits.

*I'd like to not feel crowded in our shower stall. I'm forever bumping my elbows, or brushing the cold shower walls with my butt-ticular area. And I end up having to step sideways out of the stall to get through the door without bumping jiggly bits.

*I'd like to not feel tired all the time, or out of breath when I walk a block from my car to the office. That's actually getting better since I started working out on my recumbent bike! I want to feel well enough to pursue my goal of becoming a nurse.

*I want to like people looking at me again. Now, I can't stand to look at myself in the mirror, so I guess I assume everyone else feels the same way.

*I'd like to feel like a normal person. That's not too much to ask, is it?

In less heavy (geddit???) news, I ordered some Nectar protein drinks on the suggestion of someone in my bariatric practice's support group. Who knew chocolate shakes were going to get old?

Yay, followers!

I'm so excited to have eight followers! *squishes followers to mah bosom*

*ahem* I mean...Hi! ;)

Also, despite the tone of my last post, I can promise I really am not a Debbie Downer. Also, I found out a reason for the person yesterday telling me the RNY horror story, and now that I understand, I think it won't be quite so awkward to see this person on a regular basis.

So, I'm still in the hoop-jumping-through phase. My cardiologist signed off for me to have surgery, and even said I don't need to have a stress test, YES! I see the bariatric practice's nutritionist a second time in July, and have my third visit with the doctor. Oh, and I'm planning to go to the practice's support meeting next week. I'm SO, SO, SO pumped to get to talk to more people who have done this before!

Exercise today: walked as fast as I possibly could for 28 minutes on my lunch break, and omg my legs are KILLING me. I know at some point, my body will stop screaming through every millisecond I exercise. Just gotta hang on until that time. Oh, and I'm strongly considering getting a recumbent exercise bike this weekend.

Eating today: two protein drinks for breakfast and lunch, greek yogurt, grapes and an apple for snacks. Gluten-free pasta with meat sauce and veggies for supper. Watermelon for dessert. And the less said about those cheese puffs I had afterwards, the better, hmm?

Indecision -- to tell or not to tell?

I haven't made up my mind yet who to tell that I'm having bariatric surgery. So far, my husband and teenage daughter know, my sister and one friend at work. But I'm hesitant to tell others at this point.

If I am indeed having the roux en y surgery, I'm probably going to have to take two weeks off work. So, what do I tell my boss? Since I'm planning to use paid sick leave for part of that time, I tend to think I'll need to at least tell him...what? That I'm having a medical procedure? I mean, he's a good guy; I like him, and our workplace is much closer-knit than the typical workplace. I know he would keep it to himself if I told him.

But at the same time...this surgery feels much more personal to me, for some reason, than the one three years ago (defibrillator/pacemaker implanted.) Maybe I'm ashamed, even though intellectually I know it's something that will help me get healthy and stay healthy.

And then there's the subject of my other boss. It's complicated, but basically I'm being moved to another department for two days of the week because of budget cuts (stoopid economy.) Other Boss seems nice, but I don't know her very well. It's going to be harder to tell her.

And my dad is another question. He's older, not in the best of health and often frail emotionally. He worries. A LOT. My first instinct is not to tell him, but I see him frequently enough that he will probably realize I've had surgery (unless I heal superquick, I suppose.) And I'll be losing a lot of weight quickly, which may make him worry. So, do I tell him before and know he will worry, or tell him afterwards and know he will be mad that I didn't tell him...or not tell him at all?

Ugh, I don't know.

I'd love to hear how others have handled telling or not telling!